A Poem

One more about rage, agony, hopelessness, despair, loss, betrayal, and many more emotions along those lines, all swirling, and taking from me the ability to think.


This was written not so long ago, some of you know what series of events inspired it. Some of you don't. For those of you that do, please keep it to yourselves.



There was a time, for just a little while,
When I knew what happiness was.
A few weeks, streching into months,
When I knew how lovely life was.

Memories of that time, come flooding back,
Flashbacks are common now, they come.
Resilient no longer, i defend the blows,
That time refuses to cease on my heart.

I wake up each morning not remembering,
That my wounds have bled away love,
And for a little while each sun-up,
I go again through the pain and hurt.

Nausea shakes me up every now and then,
I stop in the middle of my step, struck.
Was it good? Was it not? Was it worth?
Or was it indeed all for naught?

Its like a serrated edge running through,
From my heart to my head, to my eye.
Running through the scars again and again,
Pulsing, till it is tears of agony I cry.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
The question refuses to fade.
What did I do wrong? Err?
Go! My wounds cry. Leave me and begone.

But Don't go, please, I also say,
I'll die, I'll live, I'll know. I won't.
The fight rages inside. Stay, STAY!
But gone is she, not to be seen.

Gossamers, slivers, vestiges, traces,
Raise their heads again, the unfairness
Goading them on, does God like men so?
Hurting inside, hurting, raw, numb, hurting.

Words, just words, grammar is dead.
Fear, of what? What is left? No, no fear.
To die, to die with no more pain to others,
Use. To be useful to those who love still.

Use, what is the use? We are all doomed.
Primary premise refuted, rebuttal impossible.
Pneumonia, accept one more lover,
Please, someone, accept one more lover.

To touch my lips to another living thing,
I shudder, revulsion going through my spine.
The tears on my eyelids frozen white.
Rhyme? What rhyme. There is no rhyme.

There is nothing, nothing but nothing.
Memories. What a curse, What a curse.
What a curse. What a curse. Memories
Memories, building memories. How foolish.

Memories. Tears everywhere. Memories.

Someone. Where? why? no more please.