Veterans...

I found this brief write-up hiding in a remote corner of my Hard Drive. I'd written it about three years ago, a long long time for views to change, but still like it. It is a bit showy, and slightly pretentious, but it wasn't meant for public reading, so you'll forgive the slight pompous writing style...

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No man, can know the future. It is said by many, that if one could achieve this foresight, life wouldn't be as interesting as it remains today, inspite of all the miracles of modern science, and all the efforts to minimize, if not remove completely, uncertainity from our lives. Life would start to be dull and predictable, they say. They may be, and probably are, right on both counts.


No man, can know the future. No man can predict it. Humans, as a race are quite irrational. What we do not know, we fear. And so, we fear the future. Not only because we do not know anything about what is going to happen, but also because there is no way to counter this. No way to develop an "early-warning system" of sorts, for the future. And that terrifies us.


Every single one of us. Yes, you too. If you're honest with yourself, you'll remember that one time you couldn't think straight, because you were overcome by that chilling, absolute terror, of what would happen to you in the future. This comes to every sane human being. For most, it comes somewhere around the end of their teens, yet the proverbial "middle-age crisis" is but another manifestation of this fear.


And so, I say, what? So what? So what if I fear the future? Simple fear doesn't mean much. I'm afraid of a lot of things, like most people - afraid of failure, afraid of ineptness, of incompetence, of inability, of.... the list goes on.


Yet what I am perhaps most afraid of, is not being able to face up to my fears.
Do not misunderstand me. I'm not Superman; when i feel afraid, it does impair my ability to think clearly. Very few people can claim otherwise. And I salute that very few. For they are the true warriors against fear. Veterans, everyone of them, and undoubtedly, with scars to prove that status.


Yet, I remain afraid, inspite of these pristine examples of the power of the human conscious to conquer the subconscious.


Yes, afraid, but what sets my efforts in the same category as those veterans, is that inspite of my being afraid, and my mind being clouded by fear, I TRY.


I try to clear that fog. I try to break free. I may not always succeed, but that is what sets me apart. I may not always think of the best way to combat my fears and find a solution to what causes those fears, but I TRY.

That is how I learn.


I learn to fight, to not cower. I may not learn the best way to fight, the best moves, the best kicks and punches, but I learn that I CAN fight. And more importantly, I teach my subconscious that. So the next time, it will not burden my mind with unreasoning fear, and allow me to combat the situtation better.

My next response to fear will improve, and the next even further, and the next, and the next...


And so, I will be a veteran. All of my fellows, who do not face their fears, or those who try to cover them, will not. They will remain the greenhorns, that will be replenished after each battle. For the greenies are the ones that are left one the battlefield. The veterans survive.
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